


Back to Back Conversations

by mason_adrift



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Not Romance, Self-Indulgent, ben is a lowkey stalker ghost, but he's actually a decent guy, crying at a gathering/party, like so really heavy crying man, the worst kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:21:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26136421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mason_adrift/pseuds/mason_adrift
Summary: You find a room to get in a good cry alone, except, you're not really alone. Instead of finding another spot, this stranger insists you shouldn't be alone.Maybe he's right about that.
Kudos: 13





	Back to Back Conversations

I ran into an empty room, closing and locking the door behind me. Both my hands were pressed against the door as I suddenly started losing control over my breathing. There was this burning tightness in my chest that made my eyes water, and then I realized that was me crying. As much as I hated it the tears came down, they fell so hard they took me with them. I sat on my knees covering my mouth and gritting my teeth. I wanted to scream. I wanted so badly to just let everything out and get over this already, but not now. 

Just a few more hours. A few more hours till I’m back home and distancing myself from everyone again. Just a few more hours till I’m all alone again in my room, hating myself.  
What is wrong with me?   
Why can’t I just be like every other person and shove this shit down when I’m around other people? Why do I have to ruin these happy moments with my disgusting shit?

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

My head sprung up so quick I almost got a head rush. Quickly I rub the snot and tears from my face, trying to make myself laugh.   
“Sorry, I didn’t think anyone was in here,” I stood up, ready to leave to find a bathroom.  
A hand grabbed my shoulder, freezing cold, but I didn’t make a move to look back at whoever it was.   
“It’s alright. Probably better to cry in here- the bathroom echoes.”  
I wanted to reach for the door, but he kept on talking.  
“You don’t have to be alone. I know crying hurts, especially around someone you don’t know, but you don’t even have to look at me if you don’t want to! A-And, I won’t look at you either! Promise!” He sighed a little, laughing at himself. “Sorry, that came out weird. I just mean- I don’t think you should be alone right now, and I’m not one to judge anyone. Especially since I’m a mess myself.”

I let out a laugh- an actual laugh this time- and felt my eyes aching more as tears continued to fall. My face started to burn as sobs bubbled through the laughter. I was a disgusting mess for who knows how long and this guy was just sitting here awkwardly as he watched me cry, and now he’s fumbling over himself trying to make up for it- at least I hope this was him trying to make up for that. For all I knew that could be a big lie.   
Something tapped my arm and I looked to see a small box of tissues, a pale hand holding them up to me. I took the box and cleaned myself up, saying a small thank you. 

“I’ll leave now, it's- well, it looks like that actually be better for you-”  
I let out a weak chuckle, “Were you in here crying too?”  
He was hesitant to respond, “Yeah, in a way. I was surely feeling like shit.”  
“Why don’t we both feel like shit together then?” I shrugged a shoulder wondering what the hell I was doing. “We can do what you said early, be completely anonymous.”

There was a small bench-like thing at the end of the bed, the both of us sat on opposite ends with our backs facing each other. It was a weird silence between us; I don’t think either of us expected to still be in the same room after that, but here we were. If only I was in the right mind to make conversation. 

“So why do you feel like shit right now?” He asked, trying to give it a jolly tone.  
I laughed at the attempt and thought, “Well… I guess I’m just not really good with groups, especially with those people.”  
“Not on good terms?”  
I shook my head, “No, I am… I think. It’s just so much. Something happened and I think I just took it too seriously.”  
“Groups of people tend to only care for themselves in situations like these,” He said almost somberly. 

I could feel myself getting worked up again just thinking back to what happened. It wasn’t even that- it was everything leading up to that. My whole week leading up to this! Being around them all, I just felt so out of place. The only thing I’ve been doing is scrolling through my phone. I felt like I was doing it for so long I just abandoned everything around me, and coming back was so disorienting. I couldn’t take it anymore I guess. 

“I think I’m broken,” I say, covering up my quiver by clearing my throat. “Something is definitely wrong with me.”  
“Why? I mean, what makes you think that?”   
I bit the inside of my cheek, digging my nails into my fingertips trying to keep myself from overflowing with this shit. “I’m just scared, by the slightest things- things no one else would even bat an eye at. And there’s just…” I took a breath wondering if I was really just going to pour my scummy heart out to this complete stranger. “There’s always so much going on through my head. So many disgusting thoughts and it’s just- it’s so tiring…... I’m tired.”  
I press a tissue to my eyes. If I wasn’t red from crying, I was red from embarrassment. I wanted to apologize for my depressing outburst, and I almost got the words out, but he interrupted.

“It’s fine,” He kind of scolded himself for that, but continued. “What I’m saying is, it’s okay to be tired from your own head. Thoughts are non-stop, and they can get out of hand and hurtful. I’ve had a lot of time with my own thoughts recently too, and it’s rough.”  
“It’s scary.”  
“Fucking terrifying,” He laughed. “But you’re not broken, I can tell you that for sure.”

I took in a stuttering breath and held my head in my hands.   
“Being stuck in your head for so long will do that to you. Make you feel like a broken piece of shit that nobody wants, but you're wanted and you're loved. Period.”  
Now I laughed.   
“Yeah, that sounds pretty cheezy... and I know it can be hard to believe sometimes.”  
It was hard to believe in anything positive about myself these days. Everything was just a lie or a hidden complaint. Nothing felt like the truth.

“What about you?” I sniffled. “What are you feeling like crap about?”   
It was only fair he vent to me as well. I sure as hell felt like crap pouring all this on him.

He let out a shaky breath, “I don’t even know what to talk about- it’s all just trash up inside my head. Complete garbage.”  
“Better to let it out than stink up the place.”  
He chuckled, “Right, right…”

I wanted to take a look back at him, but it didn’t seem right to break the privacy we both wanted and agreed on at the beginning of all this.  
“I guess I don’t really do good in bunches of people like this either. I don’t think I deserve anything good or nice in my… Uhm, in my life- yeah I don’t deserve it.”  
“Why not?” I ask. “Every good person deserves good in their lives.”  
He scoffed, “I don’t think I’m any good. I just ruin shit, I ruin people with my shit- my shit just fucks up everything.”  
I took a moment to think. Then another moment. Then another. 

“I get that. I feel like anytime I go anywhere I’m just ruining it for other people,” I laugh feeling tears sneak down my cheeks. “I think everything I do is just a big annoying burden. Nobody should have to deal with my shit.”  
Something told me that probably wasn’t the best thing to say.  
“But I can tell you one thing; you’ve done good sitting here helping me through this. This really was a lot better than crying alone in the bathroom.”  
He let out a small laugh, “I’m glad…”

“Here, uh, scooch back with me,” I started sliding myself back towards his place on the other end of the bench.  
“What?”  
“Just do it- if you’re comfortable.”  
I stopped myself and waited for his answer, and that answer was that soft pressure of his back against mine. He flinched at the touch at first but I think my laugh eased him back into it.

“I really appreciate you letting me vent to you,” I say almost breathlessly, realizing I could finally take in a solid breath. “I don’t know you but, I think you're a good person for this. It seems like you can really help others- you have some good advice.” I laughed, “You should learn to take your own advice some time.”  
“Easier to give positive advice on mental health than take the actions on fixing my own,” He said.  
I could feel a chill air running over my body, it calmed the burning emotions that peeked through- for the moment at least. 

“I hope one day you feel better about yourself,” He says. His volume coming down to a soft whisper. “Because you really do deserve to feel loved.”  
“You too,” I smiled. “You deserve to feel wanted, and I really hope you get the love and happiness you deserve.”  
I could feel his head gently lean back onto mine, his hair moving around my back and neck making me shiver.

“Thank you.”


End file.
